Life is not the same without humor. Whenever we express our love to someone, we don’t always have to look so serious. When you mix your words and actions with a little humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and special.
As these 50 Funny Love Quotes from comedians prove, love can bring a chuckle, giggle, or a side-splitting laugh out of just about anyone you’ll meet.
We want to help put a little color to your relationship by sharing some of the funniest love quotes we could find. We hope these Funny Love Quotes make you laugh and bring you closer to each other now more than ever!
There is something Most 50 Funny Love Quotes About Life and Relationships, And we find the strongest funny quotes for love that they talked or wrote to show. These love phrases are not only hilarious, but they are also guaranteed point-on, and from some of the most famous, influential people in the world to date. And it’s all marked up.
1. Love is sharing your popcorn.
Charles Schultz
2. Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.
Unknown.
3. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
Carroll Bryant
4. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Dr. Seuss
5. You can’t shine like a diamond if you are not willing to get cut like a diamond!
Eric Thomas
6. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.
David Sedaris
7. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
8. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside.
Leopold Fetchner
9. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
10. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
11. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
12. If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you.
Unknown
14. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
Fulton J. Sheen
15. You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
Unknown
16. I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
Unknown
17. Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.
Unknown
18. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.
Chelsea Peretti
19. I am yours. No refunds.
Unknown
20. I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Unknown
21. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Unknown
22. Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.
Jerry Seinfeld
23. I love you more”! No, I love you more
Unknown
24. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell
25. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
26. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
Natasha Leggero
27. You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
Hussein Nishah
28. Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing.
Helen Rowland
29. I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, ‘And another thing …
Felicia Michaels
30. The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
31. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That is your common sense leaving your body.
Unknown
32. I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Especially when I am all alone with you!
Unknown
33. You want to know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.
Unknown
34. Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
35. Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery
36. I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
Unknown
37. Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.
Megan Mullally
38. I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times
Elizabeth Tayl
39. You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.
David Bowie
40. I was married by a judge. I should’ve asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
41. As a man in a relationship, you have two choices: You can be right, or you can be happy.
Ralphie May
42. You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Henny Youngman
43. If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
44. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
Richard Jeni
45. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry
46. Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
Unknown
47. Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.
Unknown
48. Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
Unknown
49. Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
UNknown
50. Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.
Unknown
51. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner
52. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
Chris Rock
53. “A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
54. “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”
Bob Hope
55. “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
Oscar Wilde
56. “A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.”
Joan Rivers
57. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution.”
Groucho Marx
58. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
Joan Rivers
59. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield
60. “Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.”
Helen Gurley Brown
61. “I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.”
Anonymous
62. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it.”
Jean Illsley Clarke
63. “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”
Maya Angelou
64. “If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
Hermann Hesse
65. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
A. A. Milne
66. Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.”
Robert Browning
67. “He is not a lover who does not love forever.”
Euripides
68. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”
W.C. Fields
69. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”
Mae West
70. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
Bill Watterson
71. “I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!!”
Charles M. Schulz
72. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
Cathy Guisewite
73. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
Benjamin Franklin
74. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.”
Socrates
75. “A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.”
Frank Sinatra
76. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
Erma Bombeck
77. “Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy.”
Goldie Hawn
78. “To love is to burn, to be on fire.”
Jane Austen
79. “At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over, and life is like a song.”
Etta James
80. “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
Henry David Thoreau
81. “It doesn’t matter how long it takes, nothing changes when we’re apart.”
S Club 7
82. “I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart.”
Nicholas Sparks
83. “Home will be where the heart is. Never were words so true. My hearts far, far away. Home is too.”
Lisa Kessler
84. “You might not have been my first love, but you were the love that made all other loves irrelevant.”
Rupi Kaur
85. “Happily ever after is not a fairy tale, it’s a choice.”
Fawn Weaver
86. “Don’t be too much possessive in relationship, it will ruin the entire connection.”
Invajy
87. “A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”
Mae West
88. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
Aristotle
89. “We are most alive when we’re in love.”
John Updike
90. “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
J.K. Rowling
91. “Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.”
Lord Byron
92. “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
Paulo Coelho
93. “Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
Mother Teresa
94. “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”
David Viscott
95. “Love is being stupid together.”
Paul Valery
96. “It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.”
Lucille Bella
97. “When he said he lived in a gated community, I didn’t consider jail as one.”
Unknown
98. “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Steve Martin
99. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
Garry Shandling
100. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”
Steven Wright
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