Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh. Here is a compilation of hilarious and heart-melting statements that will make you laugh and make your day! This collection of funny quotes, which ranges from sharp one-liners to deft quips, will make you smile broadly.
These quotes will make you smile and serve as a helpful reminder to not take life too seriously. So take a seat, unwind, and get ready to be delighted by the humor contained in these lovely words. Prepare to laugh till your sides hurt with our carefully chosen collection of hilarious treasures!
I’m not superstitious…but I am a little stitious.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.
It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.
I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
I’d love to stand here and talk with you…but I’m not going to.
I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
Instant gratification takes too long.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.
The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.
People say, ‘How you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.
I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
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A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
People say, ‘How you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.
Our selection of funny quotes to make you laugh is designed to provide chuckles and smiles when you need them most. When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. These quotations are guaranteed to make you smile, whether you are laughing with friends, decompressing after a long day, or just enjoying some well-earned comedy.
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