Life can be hard, so it’s important to remember not to take everything too seriously. If you won’t take our word for it, there’s scientific proof of the old adage that laughter is the best medicine. A good laugh relaxes the body, triggers the release of endorphins, boosts your immune system, and decreases pain.
Your friends and family deserve to laugh. You don’t want to take life too seriously all the time. You need to have fun every once in a while, too. Here are some funny phrases that are going to make you laugh out loud:
If laughter is the best medicine, here’s a whole pharmacy. Below are Best 50 Funny Phrases , sayings that will make you laugh out loud, and maybe even cry a little. You’re welcome.
1. I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
2. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
3. I like to be an optimist. It pisses people off.
4. A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself – well, so far so good!
5. All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of potato chips.
6. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
7. I am an example to others. A bad example.
8. Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.
9. Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.
10. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.
11. Error. No keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
12. God created the world, everything else is made in China.
13. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
14. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
15. Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
16. You couldn’t get a clue during the clue-mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
17. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
18. I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
19. If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off of it!
20. Cancel my subscription—I don’t need your issues.
21. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
22. Know the difference between your opinion and a pizza? I asked for a pizza.
23. When people tell me, “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.
24. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
25. My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.
26. I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who’s going to do it.
27. My brain has too many tabs open.
28. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light bulb in the fridge?
29. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.
30. A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.
31. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
32. According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.
33. Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
34. All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of crisps.
35. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
36. Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.
37. Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
38. Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.
39. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
40. Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
41. I’m objective; I object to everything.
42. Overpopulation… too much of a good thing.
43. It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
44. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. For example, toilet paper.
45. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
46. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and then I eat it.
47. I’m sorry, I have to go. You’re boring me to death and my survival instincts are kicking in.
48. You know what they say—dynamite comes in small packages.
49. My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.
50. That just means I’m a limited edition—I’m something you don’t see very often!
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